Stop Building Someone Else's Business in Your Body
ou're smart. You're capable. You've read the books, tried the strategies, followed every step-by-step blueprint the business gurus promised would work.
So why does success feel so damn hard to sustain?
Here's what no one's telling you: You're trying to build a business like someone you're not.
The patterns running the show
Over the last couple episodes, we've been naming some patterns—urgency addiction, self-sabotage, treating everything like an emergency, creating chaos just to clean it up.
But these are just two of the dozens of behavioral patterns and unconscious drivers that quietly move us through our days and decisions.
What I've seen over and over again: really smart entrepreneurs who try strategy after strategy, and nothing sticks. They start strong. They get momentum. And then somehow it falls apart. It fizzles. They lose drive.
And every single one of them blames themselves.
I'm not disciplined enough.
What's wrong with me?
Maybe I'm not cut out for this whole entrepreneur thing.
We internalize it. We criticize ourselves for it.
But here's what we don't recognize: we're trying to grow our brands and businesses by operating like someone we are not. We think we're broken. But actually, we're just forcing ourselves into strategies that were never designed for us.
The thing that explained everything
Let me tell you my pattern.
Started a wedding planning business. Grew it to multiple six figures. Sold it.
Started a coaching business. Grew it to multiple seven figures. Closed it.
Built a personal brand. Grew it to almost seven figures. Pivoted and rebranded.
See the pattern? Build the successful thing, get it working, then start again because something about it doesn't feel right.
When I did my own Identity Report about a year and a half ago, it explained everything.
It showed me I'm literally wired to break rules. No wonder cookie-cutter systems and strategies eventually felt like torture.
My energy is designed to thrive in challenge. I don't like monotonous details—details bore me, so I check out. Everything needs to feel like a bit of a challenge so I can apply my thrust-style energy to achieve something new, something exciting.
So of course I would get bored once something started operating smoothly. And then I'd blow it up or close it down or sell it.
Maybe your patterns are different. Maybe you haven't built multiple businesses and walked away. But maybe your patterns are showing up in other ways.
Maybe you keep forcing yourself to build massive audiences when you'd actually thrive on fewer, deeper connections.
Maybe you force yourself to post like a high-energy, dominant entrepreneur who speaks directly (hello, that's me)—but you naturally have a more thoughtful, introverted approach that you're ignoring because you don't think it'll make you successful.
So you're forcing yourself to show up and create as a version of yourself that isn't true to who you are.
You cannot sustain that.
You will always burn out when you're operating as someone you're not.
The identity crisis no one talks about
Here's the other layer that's kind of wild.
Sometimes we try to separate ourselves from our business. Like: "Yeah, I'm someone who likes to break rules. I hate details. I'm an introvert. I like to be alone, stay quiet, be a homebody."
But then when it comes to business: "I'm gonna post every day! I'm gonna be this super excited, loud rah-rah person on social media! I'm gonna attend all the networking events! I'm gonna stay extremely consistent!"
Your patterns are your patterns—in your personal life and your business life.
If you're an introvert in your personal life, you need to find a way to honor the introvert in your business.
If you hate details, you need to find a way to work through them in a way you can actually sustain.
Who we are as people translates directly to how we show up as entrepreneurs.
You cannot be one version of yourself in your personal life and then suddenly transform into someone else to fit the mold of what you think makes an entrepreneur successful.
This is the world's craziest identity crisis.
It's like going to work every day and putting on your "extrovert face." How tired are you gonna get? It's not sustainable.
Why all those strategies keep failing
So much typical business advice is just: do it this way. Follow this step-by-step strategy and you will create success.
But this completely ignores the truth.
This is why all those strategies you keep trying on fail—business is trying to teach you that you can separate yourself from the business. That you can act in a way that is not actually who you are.
They're trying to separate the brand from the truth of you. From the authentic, natural expression of who you are.
But you and your business are one and the same.
If you're an entrepreneur, who you are as a person needs to be taken into consideration as you adopt new strategies. Because if those strategies don't align with your behavioral wiring, with who you are as a person, then your business will be something you cannot sustain.
You'll start to resent it. Or you'll burn it to the ground and feel the need to start again.
Sound familiar?
The rhythm to building something that actually lasts
In my world, there's a rhythm to building success. A methodology that actually works.
First: Build solid foundations in your life.
If you're operating from chaos—trying to build your business from urgency, lack, scarcity, survival mode at home—your business is going to reflect that energy.
If you have no boundaries, don't know how to manage your energetic capacity, don't know how to have hard conversations, don't know what your vision is, don't know what your own cycles and loops are... these things are going to drive your business.
We have to start with solid foundations in your personal life before you can leverage your strengths to build something sustainable.
Every successful entrepreneur has a solid foundation that supports their wellbeing, their energetic capacity, their vision, their patterns, their authentic self. When we create foundations that support the self, then we can go out and create sustainable success.
Second: Understand your authentic identity.
Not who you think you should be. Not who the world tells you to be in order to have what you want. But how you're actually wired to operate.
Who am I? What are my patterns? What's my energy style? How do I make decisions? How do I communicate? Am I meant to build big audiences or small ones? How do I connect? What are my blind spots? What strengths should I be leveraging?
We need to know who you are.
Third: Build from that place.
With solid foundations and a true understanding of your authentic self, we build something sustainable, successful, beautiful, brilliant.
Most entrepreneurs skip steps one and two and go right to building. Then they wonder six months later why nothing's working.
What shifted for me
Once I saw my Identity Report and started diving into behavioral science, everything changed.
Instead of fighting against my need for constant new challenges, I built that into my business model.
Instead of forcing myself into rigid systems that would never work for me, I created flexible structures that work with my patterns.
We can build something that allows you to create long-term success without burning out. Without the "oh my god, here we go again" feeling.
Get curious this week
What patterns keep showing up in your personal life that might be driving your business?
Do you have weak boundaries at home? Are they showing up as weak boundaries in your business? Do you prefer having three close friends but you're trying to go viral and build a giant audience? Maybe that's something to get curious about.
Where are you forcing yourself into strategies that feel wrong for how you're naturally wired?
Do you keep trying to post four times a day because that's what the Instagram growth gurus say—but you barely talk to your best friends once a month? Maybe that content strategy is never gonna work for you.
What would change if you built your business around your actual operating system instead of copying what works for someone else?
One more thing
Your humanness—your energy, your voice, your decision-making style, your communication style—that's not something to overcome.
That's your superpower.
In a world oversaturated with AI and content that all sounds the same, the more you can get familiar with who you actually are and start building from that place, the more success you're going to have.
People are getting really tired of seeing the same stuff over and over again.
So let's stop forcing ourselves into boxes that were never meant for us. Let's build something real.
Go deeper
Get your Identity Report — Discover how you're actually wired to think, decide, and build—so you can stop forcing strategies that don't fit.
Work with Robyn — Build a brand and business that works with your behavioral design, not against it.
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