Stop Performing: Start Communicating As Your Natural Self
You don't need to look, talk, or teach like anyone else to be wildly effective.
I recently watched four powerhouse speakers—each totally different in style, pace, presence, and delivery—and every single one of them was magnetic.
Not because they were performing.
Because they were natural.
The radical invitation
Before we dive in, I want you to ask yourself: What is it that you want for yourself?
Do you want to be a speaker? Have a successful online business? Become more visible online? Write a book? Make millions of dollars?
None of your desires are wrong. None of your wants are out of the question or too much. They all get to be yours.
But here's what happens when we name what we want.
We look around. We find 10 examples of people who have what we want. And we start comparing.
She did it this way. He did it that way. They did it this other crazy way.
We stack all 10 of them against ourselves and think: Holy fuck. I've got none of that.
This is natural. It's our first instinct when comparing ourselves to successful people.
But it's also where we go wrong.
The marathon story
Before I ever ran a marathon, I looked at runners and was like: Fuck no.
I can't run. My legs don't move like that. I don't like it. I don't want to like it. I would never try it. I think running shoes are ugly. It's not me.
And then one day at brunch, I shockingly decided I was going to become a runner. I signed up for a marathon. Committed. And then thought: Well, now I have to figure this out.
So I watched all these videos on how to become a runner.
Run on your toes. Lean forward. Lead with your arms. Count your steps. Focus on your breathing. Listen to this playlist. Listen to no music at all.
I collected all of this information. And then I went out for my very first training run thinking all of these things in my head.
Run on your tippy toes. Lean forward. Make sure your shoes aren't too tight but tight enough. Lead with your shoulders. Keep your chin tucked but eyes level.
I looked like a rag doll.
I was trying to apply too much information at once from too many different inputs—all these different examples, all these different expanders I was looking to for guidance.
And what ended up happening? I had to throw it all in the garbage and just run.
How does Robin's body move? What's my natural stride? What's my natural pace? What doesn't hurt? How does my body naturally breathe?
I had to figure out my natural way of running, moving, breathing, being.
The secret no one tells you
Here's what we do instead of trusting ourselves:
We sit still. We look around. We look outside ourselves. We try to collect as much information as we can because we think we don't have what it takes yet. We think we don't have the innate intuitive skill or knowing that's going to get us where we want to go.
We think everyone else is going to give that to us.
But that story I'd been telling myself for years—I'm not a runner—wasn't true.
My body knows how to run. You put one foot in front of the other, do it a bit faster, and suddenly you're running.
The same is true for you and whatever you want to become.
Finding my running playlist (and crossing the finish line as myself)
I tried listening to a running playlist from a woman I really loved. It was so intense I literally felt like I was being chased by a bear. It sent fear through my body. It made me want to shut the whole thing down.
That was not it for me.
So I had to experiment. What type of running playlist do I actually like?
Turns out I love cheesy poppy dance music. Songs I can sing along to as I huff. I'm unstoppable. I'm a Porsche with no brakes.
And when I crossed the finish line of my marathon? I was listening to Taylor Swift.
She came on during the last kilometer and I was like, T-Swift, you've got to be fucking kidding me. I didn't even know she was on my playlist. I'm not a huge Taylor Swift fan.
But it was the perfect song in the perfect moment. I was ear-to-ear grinning, laughing, half-singing, half-dying, breathing this song across the finish line.
This is me. This is me as a runner.
And it felt so good.
I finished the race as myself. Probably following about three of those rules I'd learned along the way. Because I really had to figure out who I was as a runner on my own.
Four speakers, four completely different styles
The whole reason I'm sharing this is because I recently watched four speakers on stage, and it became incredibly obvious very quickly that they each had their own "running style."
All four were invited to be on stage. All are extremely great at what they do. High achievers. Successful in their industry. Sought after. Award-winning. Authors. Keynote speakers.
And they all do it in completely different ways.
Some were reserved. Low dominance. They thrive in subtle connections, deeper conversations. They communicate at a slower pace. They're not polarizing—they're looking for harmony and unity in the room. Keeping everyone even keel.
Some were swearing every other word. Sharing polarizing statements. Drawing people into their passion and vision with excitement. Inviting people to join them in their mission.
Some used slides. Step one, step two, step three. Here's the question, here's how you respond, write this down, click, click, click.
One used no slides at all. Lapel mic instead of handheld. Expressive body language. Hands telling the stories.
Two got us all dancing. High extraversion. They thrive on the exchange of energy between themselves and the crowd. You could tell they received as much from the dancing as the audience did.
Others didn't use music. And my guess is that encouraging 110 women to dance would have made them nervous as fuck. It would have restricted their flow. It's just not them.
Some told deeply personal stories. Vulnerable, raw, real, human, tears.
Some told no stories. Or really high-level stories—to the point I'm not even sure if they told a story at all.
Here's the thing: neither approach was wrong.
They were just different. All highly successful. All extremely relevant, sought after, financially successful. All leaning into their natural way of being to get to that level of success.
They didn't learn to be the same as each other to build success. They each built success in their own different way and became successful as that version of themselves.
The three graphs (and the red one that tells the truth)
When I do a client's Identity Report, I see three graphs.
The first graph is you as your natural self. Here's how you naturally show up. Here are your strengths. Here's what you do really well with no effort at all. Here's what people see in you. Here are the situations you'll thrive in.
The second graph is who you are in the world. The person you think you have to be to succeed, to be liked, to get chosen, to be accepted, to get the promotion.
Using the marathon example: this would be Robin thinking she has to run on her tiptoes, chin tucked, counting every step in her head, fucking miserable, grueling across the finish line—versus Robin actually dancing across singing Taylor Swift.
The third graph is red. It shows the amount of energy, stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction you're creating in your body by being someone else.
When we continue to show up as the person we think we need to be, we burn ourselves out. We lack fulfillment. We lack authenticity—which means we lack connection. We lack depth. We lack satisfaction.
It constantly feels like we're putting on a show.
How fucking exhausting is that?
Why performing breaks the chain
Here's why this matters for your business:
A lot of people aren't professional actors. They're not good at acting. So when you perform as someone you're not, people see right through you.
They think: Something's not right here. Something feels off. I can't quite put my finger on it. I can't figure out my way past the facade. Where's the door into this person?
That block—when we're performing instead of being our natural self—is what prevents us from building connections.
And connection is what builds trust in brands and businesses.
When connection is lost, we don't build trust with our audience or potential clients. When we don't build trust, we don't convert.
Converting is sales. Converting is that final transaction when a business becomes profitable and actually serves people.
Performance → Lost connection → No trust → Lower conversions.
That's the chain that breaks when you're not being yourself.
What if your natural self is the fastest route?
There's a version of you running across a finish line in a way that works for you.
Maybe you're dancing to Taylor Swift, singing songs you don't know the lyrics to.
Maybe you're chin tucked, counting every step, listening to no music at all.
Neither version is wrong. But there's a difference. And knowing which one you are changes everything.
Knowing how you communicate. Knowing what people are attracted to within you. Knowing your strengths. Knowing your decision-making style. Knowing how fast you're designed to move. Knowing how much you're designed to be logical versus intuitive. Knowing what drains your energy and what gives it back.
All of this helps you get back to your natural self faster—so you can stop performing, stop trying, stop comparing yourself to everyone else out there.
And knowing this gives you radical permission to be that now.
The real question
Get curious this week:
Who am I?
And more importantly: Who am I not?
What am I going to stop doing that's causing me to be a version of myself that drains me, creates disconnection in my brand, and repels the people who would actually be attracted to my authentic self?
What if it's not only safe to be you—but that's your fastest route to success?
You can figure all of this out on your own. You can reflect, journal, do the work, have coaching sessions, therapy, medicine journeys—whatever you want.
Or you can take the Identity Report and see it all in a graph and be like: Oh my god, that's me. Holy fucking shit. Finally someone sees it. Finally someone says it.
That's the race I want you to run.
As you.
Because you're going to love it. It's going to feel freeing and liberating. And it's going to get you where you want to go faster.
Go deeper
Get your Identity Report — See your natural self, your performed self, and the stress gap between them. Finally understand how you're wired to communicate, connect, and succeed.
Work with Robyn — Build a brand that lets you show up as yourself.
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