They're Watching: What You're Really Selling
Recently, my daughters started asking me to play my affirmations before bed.
They'd curl up, listen quietly, and soak in words like I am capable. I am worthy. I trust myself.
At first, it was sweet. But then I realized something deeper.
They weren't just listening. They were absorbing. They were watching me believe those words—and learning what self-worth looks like in real life.
And that's when it hit me.
Our audiences are doing the exact same thing.
What my kids taught me about my business
I've been doing foundational work on myself as part of my own Life Rehab process. One of the practices I started was playing affirmations in the morning and before bed—not just listening, but really letting them sink in. Repeating the words back to myself. I am capable. I trust myself. I am worthy of rest.
My daughters started hearing them while I was getting ready in the bathroom, while they were playing, while I was making lunches in the kitchen.
And over the last couple of weeks, they started asking for them. "Mom, can we play the affirmations? Can you put these on before we go to bed?"
It's the sweetest thing.
But here's what made me pause: my daughters aren't just hearing words. They're absorbing everything.
They're absorbing my energy. They're absorbing the energy of the affirmations. They're watching how it changes the way I feel. They're experiencing changes in how they feel.
They're noticing how I treat myself differently. They're noticing that I'm dedicated to working on my mindset. They're seeing this shift happening in me as I anchor into these beliefs.
They're seeing my confidence build again after grief. They're seeing positivity come back into our conversations.
Kids don't just listen to what you tell them. They mirror what you do. They soak up and absorb the energy you carry. They tune into the beliefs you live by—not just the things you say out loud, but who you actually are.
And here's the thing: your audience is doing the exact same thing.
The science of why this matters
Let me get a little nerdy for a second, because I think it's important to understand why this happens.
Humans are wired to learn through observation and mirroring. It's called social learning theory. We don't just learn from instruction—we learn by watching people we look up to and unconsciously mimicking their behavior.
This is how kids learn to walk, to talk, to navigate the world. They didn't learn because you gave them a manual. They didn't learn because you said "put one foot in front of the other, balance your weight." They learned by watching you.
Your clients and your audience are doing the same thing with you.
When someone follows you, invests in your work, or shows up to learn from you—they're not just consuming your content or buying your strategies.
They're studying you.
They're watching how you handle stress. How you set boundaries (or don't). How you talk to yourself. How you live your life. How you show up authentically—even when things get hard. Maybe especially when things get hard.
They're watching whether you practice what you preach.
This is called modeling behavior. And it's one of the most powerful forms of learning because it bypasses the conscious mind and goes straight to the subconscious.
Your audience isn't just asking: Does this strategy work?
They're asking: Does this person actually embody what they're teaching?
And they're noticing.
When there's a gap
Here's where this gets really important for you as an entrepreneur.
You can have the best strategies in the world. The most brilliant frameworks. Incredible systems that genuinely help people solve their problems.
But if your foundations are shaky—if you're burnt out, running on fumes, performing on the screen instead of actually being the person you say you are—they can feel that.
And what happens is they won't trust the strategy because they don't trust that you actually live it.
Let me give you some examples.
Example 1: You're selling a program about sustainable business growth. But you're posting about how tired you are. You're showing yourself hustling 24/7. Your audience notices you haven't taken a day off in months.
What are they absorbing? She's telling me she'll teach me sustainable business, but she's burning out. She's hustling all the time. This feels... unsustainable.
Example 2: You're coaching people on self-worth and pricing. But you're undercharging. You're over-delivering. You're afraid to charge what you're worth. Everything is free, free, free.
Your clients will feel this energy around money. And they'll stay stuck in the same pattern—because you're modeling it for them.
Why your foundations are your brand
This is why your foundations really matter. Not just for you, but for the people you're trying to serve.
Who you are as a person—the actions you take when you're not showing up, the actions you take in your own life—these get reflected in your business.
If you're not being the person you say you are, if you're not in alignment with what you're selling, that's what people feel. That's the energy they absorb. That's the thing that gets subconsciously imprinted.
They won't trust you. They won't believe in what you're selling. Because there's a mismatch between what you say and who you actually are.
Your audience is constantly asking themselves—mostly unconsciously—Is this person living what they're teaching?
And they're looking for proof. In your energy. Your boundaries. Your self-talk. Your consistency. Your capacity. How you show up. What you're showing them, not what you're telling them.
If there's a gap between what you're teaching and how you're living, your audience is going to sense that. Maybe not consciously. But energetically.
And here's the really interesting part: they're going to mirror your patterns, not your advice.
Just like our kids.
They will do as we do, not what we say.
Get honest with yourself
What are you modeling for your audience right now?
Not what are you teaching them. Not what are you posting about.
What are you actually showing them through how you live, how you work, and how you show up?
Are you modeling what you're teaching? Are you modeling what you're selling?
Because that's what they're learning.
This is why I'm obsessed with foundation work
This is exactly why I created Life Rehab.
You cannot lead people from somewhere you have not gone yourself.
You can't teach strategies if you haven't implemented them, felt them, seen them work, experienced the nuances.
You can't sell sustainable business if you're running on fumes.
You can't guide people to self-worth if you don't believe in your own.
You can't teach boundaries if you're not honoring yours.
You can't teach leadership if you're not leading yourself.
And this has nothing to do with being a fraud. You know what you're selling works. But if you aren't embodying it—if you aren't doing it and being it—people won't hear the words you're saying. They'll be too focused on the fact that something feels out of alignment.
They won't feel the truth in what you're trying to sell.
What my daughters are really learning
Back to my kids and those affirmations for a second.
They're not learning from the words of the affirmations. They're learning through me—and whether or not I actually believe them.
They're watching to see if I treat myself like I'm worthy. They're noticing whether I actually allow myself to rest. They're absorbing whether I live what I say.
Your audience is doing the same thing.
If your foundations feel shaky
If you're listening to this and realizing your foundations are shakier than you want to admit—if you're burnt out, boundaryless, chaotic, spinning your wheels, performing instead of being, not embodying what you teach—I want you to start with the 14-Day Reset inside Life Rehab.
It'll help you get clear on your relationship with yourself. Set boundaries. Know your capacity. Work on your money mindset, self-worth, and energy management. Have hard conversations. Lead yourself.
So you can embody the person, the leadership, the power, the momentum that your clients are looking for in you.
Remember: everything you are in the world is exactly what your clients will reflect back to you.
If you want your audience to invest in you, you need to be investing in yourself.
If you want them to know what sustainable success looks like, you better be living it.
If you want them to charge their worth and make money, you better be doing that too.
Not just your kids are watching.
Your audience is watching.
Not to judge you. Not to criticize you. But to learn from you.
So get out there. Do your foundational work. Be the person you want the world to mirror back to you.
Go deeper
Start the 14-Day Reset inside Life Rehab — Rebuild your foundation, restore your energy, and get back into alignment with what you teach.
Get your Identity Report — Learn how you're wired for success so you can show up authentically.
Work with Robyn — Build a brand that's actually aligned with who you are.
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