Robyn Savage (00:05)
Hello friends. Welcome back to the 17 minutes podcast. If this is your first time here, welcome. Hello. I hope that this conversation just gives you a couple of golden nuggets or allows you to get curious about something and gives you a takeaway that's going to change the way that you show up in your business, in your life today, tomorrow, et cetera.
So the conversation that I wanted to have with you today was really inspired by a chat that I had with a client today during one of our VIP sessions. So I do VIP intensives where you and I sit down and we like deep dive into your brand. And typically as we are deep diving into you ultimately, because hello, the brand is you and I'm here to help you build a business your way.
So on that journey, we often discover conversations, interests, opinions, beliefs, ⁓ setbacks, challenges, things that are happening or showing up in your life that we then want to bring into your brand as part of your conversation, as part of your story and your voice. And so we were pretty much wrapping up this VIP session. We were in
like just approaching hour three. And we were sitting at my kitchen table because this woman is local. So yay for us, we got to do it in person, which is so, so nice. And our conversation kind of took this turn and we started talking about comparison. Now, comparison is one of those funky little mischievous brats, you know? I say funky because sometimes I think comparison can be
Positive if we learn to frame it that way and we learn to get curious about it rather than extremely judgmental and in our heads and ⁓ In this like shame spiral with comparison So the funkiness about comparison is that it can actually show you what you want. It can actually evoke some sort of desire or vision that you have for yourself
when you start to compare yourself to someone and you get a little bit of that like triggered feeling, you know, you know, the one that I'm talking about. And so comparison can kind of go in these two directions, I believe. And so it's a bit funky, right? Some days we find ourselves stuck in these comparison loops. Other days when we can get curious about comparison, it's like, okay, maybe this is trying to show me something. Now, this is what I really want to talk about today because what I said,
to this woman as we were kind of exploring our own relationship with comparison. I said this, I think comparison can kill a lot of entrepreneurs potential because when we get stuck in that negative trap of comparison, what happens is that our voice is suddenly telling us that we are not good enough. We are not pretty enough. We are not smart enough. We are not.
educated enough, we are not prepared enough, we are not expert enough, we are not, we are not, we are not. And we see all of these people out in the world doing things that we admire or that we think we should be doing and suddenly we're in this thought loop of should I be doing that too? I could never do that. What's wrong with me? Why am I not further ahead? Et cetera. I mean, you know how comparison shows up for you so I don't need to tell you these things.
But when we get stuck in this loop for too long, our potential starts to diminish because the story that we begin telling ourselves is, I'm not good enough. And if you compare yourself for long enough, that story starts to feel real. Now, here's something that really helped me combat that negative side of comparison.
When I saw my own behavioral analysis, when I saw my own identity report, reflected back to me, when I saw the scientific data in front of my face that said, wow, this is who you are, this is your natural self. When I saw the numbers and I saw the traits that I have, nothing felt more real. Like, I can't tell you, five million people have taken
this behavioral assessment that I use and 98 % of them say that it is shockingly accurate. So you can imagine when I got my report, I was like, my gosh, this is who I am. And so much of it felt true to me. Now, what happened when I found myself in this comparison loop or a moment of thinking I should be doing that. If I just got better,
If I just, if I only started to show up like she did, or if I implemented this strategy, or if I was this kind of mom, or if I went to all those events, or if I did this and if I did that, then maybe blank. But suddenly, when I had this direct reflection of who I was, staring at me in the face, I no longer
had this feeling of looking at other people thinking I should be doing that because my identity report showed me exactly what I would feel best doing. It showed me who I am. And you might not be someone who needs an identity report to show you that, but I was.
I have been raising kids for almost a decade. I have been serving people in business across industries for over 15 years. I've been with my partner for 17 years, married for 13 years. I've been in friendships and all of these relationships and all of the ways that I serve have kind of created these imprints and these stories about myself and my identity that have sort of
they started to sort of blur my sense of self-knowing. And when I got my identity report, I remember thinking to myself, ⁓ my God, this is me. This is me as Robin. This is me without the identity of kids, without the identity of like being a mother, being an entrepreneur, being a wife, being this, being that. This is just who I am.
And so when I learned that and I spent time studying myself and learning about my behavioral tendencies and my triggers and my superpowers and my strengths, suddenly when I showed up in the world, I had this, I guess you could call it confidence, but really it was just this grounded sense of, damn, I know who I am. And if you're a mom, know, then chances are,
that you've had these fleeting moments of, woof, like, where have I gone in all of this? You know, how do I show up? Like, what are my superpowers outside of packing lunches? And as an entrepreneur, like, what are my real gaps here? Like, I everything feels like a gap in entrepreneurship, you know? So I had these moments after seeing my identity report where it was just pure self-knowing.
pure confidence in my identity. And from there, every time I found myself in this old familiar place of comparing myself to someone else, suddenly it wasn't, should be doing that. I could be doing this. What would happen if I just changed who I am completely and became more like Sally Jane over there? You know, it's like, okay, that's not me. That's not who I am.
That's not how I operate. That's not my authentic natural being. And it gave me so much permission to lean in to my own superpowers, to see and witness other people's superpowers. Like dang girl, that's amazing for you. Or wicked, that worked for that person. Or I love that for you. And I don't need to want it for myself.
I don't need to build my business that way. I don't need to be trying all of the things that you're telling me will work. I don't need to shift who I am in order to create what I want. And actually, me comparing myself to you and then trying to replicate what you're doing is actually going to hurt me more than it is if I just allow myself to be me, you see?
So comparison for me has taken on a completely different form since getting my identity report. And now if I ever do find myself in a moment of comparison, which I think is really natural, especially if you're running your business on social media, especially if you're an entrepreneur, mean, even in my, I mean life, okay, let's just be real about this. Life gives us many opportunities to compare. And I do think it's pretty natural for us to.
compare ourselves or to see differences. And now when that comes up for me, it's more of a moment of if I see something that is causing me to think, I, am I jealous? What is happening in this moment of comparison? Is there envy? Is there jealousy? Like I said, is there something for me to explore or get curious about in terms of me wanting something that that person
has, is there something triggering a dream that I have for myself? And now I explore the comparison with curiosity in terms of, what's coming up for me? What could be in this for me that I could learn about myself? Not how can I change myself to be more like that person because I know who I am, but what is it about this person that I like?
What about this person expands me? What about this person is drawing me towards them and giving me this feeling of like, ooh, you know, wonder or wanting or awakening this dream that I may have that I didn't know that I had for myself. So now comparison is more of like the world holding up these mirrors for me to get really curious about who I am rather than this moment or feeling.
of me needing to change who I am to be more like that person. And I wanted to offer you this conversation and this question today of, you know, how often do you find yourself stuck in comparison? And if you do, you know, can you allow yourself to get to know the real you so well that when you're stuck in that moment of comparison, you don't fall into the trench of thinking, I'm,
I'm not good enough. I need to be more like that person to be successful. I need to blank. I should be blank. whatever. And can you actually allow the curiosity or sorry, can you actually allow the comparison to evoke a sense of curiosity and wonder about who you desire to become knowing exactly who you are? There's a huge difference.
I bet you can feel it in your own body. Even when I just talk about it, one has such a ⁓ daunting and heaviness to it. God, why can't I be more like that person? And the other opens a door. It gives us an invitation to explore more of what we want in the world.
Okay, my invitation for you is if you are in a season where you're not quite sure who you are, you don't know what your superpowers are, you're unclear on, you know, where to go from here or what your gaps are or why you keep feeling so triggered, then click the link in the show notes, grab your identity report. It's really helpful if you're in a season of just not knowing who you are as a person. Anyways.
Please don't let comparison diminish your potential. Don't spend another second thinking that you have to be someone that you are not in order to get what you want because you are enough and the world needs what you have to offer as you are. And the moment you start believing that and the moment you start owning your superpower and stepping out into the world with that at the forefront, that is when you will succeed and not as a version of yourself.
that you think you have to be, but as who you really are. And that is true freedom. Okay? So go ahead and let me know how this lands for you. Comment on the podcast, comment in the comments. Let me know if this landed. I hope it gives you permission and come back next week to the 17 minutes podcast where we will have another beautiful conversation that helps you grow, gives you little
tidbits of information that you can integrate into your life and business to become more of who you are. I love you. Thank you so much for being here. I'll see you next time. Ciao.
